Parent coaching sessions are one hour and include:
- Written session summaries including additional supportive resources
- Light support between calls for emerging situations
Sessions can happen weekly, bi-weekly, monthly etc. I work with what fits your schedule and budget.
Perspective Taking and Boundaries:
I work with parents to broaden perspectives and look for creative solutions for the stuck places. It is important to assume that beneath all the struggle, there is deep and innate goodness within our children. While not easy, we can work through our exhaustion, anger, and really stuck places with our kids by trying to reframe situations and look through fresh eyes. When we look through a lens of empathy and curiosity and build our perspective-shifting muscles, we are modeling something powerful for our kids. Together, we look for the “sweet spot” of approaching struggles with curiosity and empathy while still holding important boundaries. We examine which boundaries we must hold and which we can let go of.
Communication, Brains and Nervous Systems:
Much of the coaching work is centered around language and communication. We work together to reduce reactivity by understanding what is happening physiologically when nervous systems become dysregulated. We look at our habitual stress reaction habits and try to disrupt old patterns and and learn to respond in more effective ways. We work to find the right words at the right time.
Every parent I work with is doing the best they can with the tools they have. We work on cultivating self-compassion and better self-care habits while identifying changes you wish to make.
Support versus Enabling:
Many of us are over-functioning as parents. For example, there could be accommodations we are making that are inadvertently contributing to our child’s anxiety cycle or lack of self-efficacy. When our child is struggling, we suffer. In the midst of our own suffering and anxiety, we often over-problem-solve for our child. We are often doing the heavy lifting they should be doing, This works against our child building resilience. My focus is on helping parents to be clear, calm and consistent as we empower our kids to be the primary solvers of their own challenges.
Parents as Change Agents:
Families are a living system and each part of a living system is in constant co-creation with its environment. When parents are able to implement small changes in their behavior, it changes the dance and the child has no choice but to shift in some way. This approach can often prevent power struggles and damage to the relationship. Sometimes the smallest changes can make the biggest difference.
Deepening Connection and Warmth:
As we work on all of this, we are always trying to deepen warmth and connection. As we work to hold boundaries that are connected to our end goal of raising capable, resilient, independent, and compassionate humans, we hope to teach our children that these are actually acts of love. We love our children too much to continue to play our part in keeping everyone stuck in unhealthy patterns. Patterns that are stalling our kids on their runway to independence.