26 Dec

Ep. #64 – Beyond Reward and Punishment

How do we move beyond a parenting system of reward and punishment to strategies that help our kids develop internal motivation, good decision making skills and competence to manage their lives? Author, Alfie Kohn suggests that punishments and rewards lead kids to be less connected to others and less aware of the impact of their actions, both positive and negative. Kids begin to think more along the lines of “what is going to happen to me if I do or don’t do something?”  A stronger approach is to give our kids some choice and control over their own lives whenever we can. When we must take control and we are clear that the reason behind our request serves a higher purpose, we need to help our kids understand our “why” and that our desire isn’t to control them. This is how they will learn to self-manage. 

Vashti Summervill
Vashti is a certified teacher in the state of Idaho, a PCI Certified Parent Coach ® and a Therapeutic Educational Consultant. She also has a Master of Music degree and is a musician. She is passionate about doing upstream work to reduce self-harm, anxiety, and depression in our youth. She produces the podcast “Teen Connectivity” - a show dedicated to helping parents navigate the wilderness of adolescence. She currently serves on the St. Luke's Pediatric Family Advisory Council representing families with children hospitalized due to a mental health crisis, is the secretary of the Idaho Suicide Prevention Coalition Board, trained in Youth Mental Health First Aid, ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training), and is a QPR Instructor (Suicide Prevention Gatekeeper Training). She is an associate member of the Independent Educational Consultants Association.

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